Friday, April 27, 2012

Teaching The Unteachable

This is my first attempt at creating a blog, hopefully all will go well. I am mostly starting this because of the massive amount of thoughts I find floating around in my mind, many of which I just need to get out and place on... well paper. 

I have been reflecting a lot recently a lot about where I am currently at in my life. I have been home from an LDS mission for almost six months! Wow I cannot believe it has been that long! I truly feel that I am making good decisions and am trying to become a better person. I look at the picture to the right and memories come flooding back into my memory. My mission was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my entire life. It is also the accomplishment of which I am most proud. I remember very well the day that my companion and I were walking and saw that drunk man. I remember feeling bad for him, wishing that I could wake him and teach him the Gospel, however I could not. It's hard to teach people who don't want to listen. I think of my own life, as good and bad as it is. How often am I like that intoxicated man on the bench? How often are people trying to give me advice, waiting for me to listen, and I simply won't make the effort to listen? I hope the answer to those two questions is not very often. 

I am finding that life is a difficult, complicated thing. I am also finding that deep within the difficulty and complication is where the deepest beauty and satisfaction can be found. My deepest fear is not achieving my full potential. I know that I can be great, a leader, a world changer, force for good, and that it all depends on me. Life will continue to move forward, this is a logical, inevitable fact. It is my hope that I will be part of that moving forward, that I will always challenge myself and not be afraid to try new things. I have blessed by my Heavenly Father with an abundance of wisdom. I am not concerned with achieving the ability to buy myself a mansion, nor do I have the desire make myself better than others. I only want to have a family and give all of myself to that family. I only want to study because I know that after this life I can take my knowledge with me. It is difficult at times to not get caught up in the vain things of the world, money, cars, success, fame. It takes much more intelligence and wisdom to be able to step back, to zoom out and see the big picture. 

I don't ever want to find myself in the position of that drunken man. I want to always be the one sitting by his side, ready to lend a hand. I feel that these desires I have are righteous enough and that I will be blessed to achieve them. The most interesting, boring, scary, thrilling, part about it....... it all depends on me.